Changing of the Seasons

Life is a hodgepodge of sorts.

Over the course of the past few years I’ve learned a lot of things, but one of the things that has stuck with me is that one person’s season of life is no more or less important than the next persons. Each season happens for a reason and has something to teach us. Each has a theme that seems to permeate every crease and wrinkle of every day; as if it is reaching out, desperately trying to teach us something.

At 22, I find myself in the season of life that is my early 20’s and the end of my time in college in Abilene and beginning a life after college, a life completely my own. Thus far in this particularly busy stage of life one thing seems to be continuously reoccurring: the idea of letting go. Letting go of friends as they part ways to live the lives ahead of them. Letting go of places I hold dear and the memories they hold. Letting go of family as I move into the next phase of life. Letting go of the comfort that college provides in knowing what the future holds.

The question that seems to work its way through everything in the year is, “How do you let go?” To answer this question, I have to delve a deeper into the things I am faced with leaving.

First: Friends

It hit me last week as I was sitting at home working on a summer class, that when I go back to Abilene in the fall that at least 75% of the friends I came into college with will be absent.

Second: Home

Tennessee, and in particular the Nashville/Clarksville area hold a very near and dear place in my heart. So many of life’s milestones have been realized here. This city is home to me, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to shake that. With that in mind, for the foreseeable future my interaction with Tennessee will be reduced to short visits around the holidays.

Lastly: Family

This one ties into the previous point. My immediate family has been one of the only constant things in my life for the past few years in general. Being two states removed from three of the most important people in my life for the past four years has been hard yet doable, but as after-college plans begin to take shape this distance is starting to solidify.

I am in no way advocating that I should shrug it off or simply jettison these aspects of my life. On the contrary, I am working to find a comfortable balance between letting go these parts of my life as the gradually drift away from me (in mileage only) and holding on to these same bits that have built and cemented me into the man that I am today.

I want to find a concrete solution to this problem; to have a step-by-step plan that would navigate me through the mystery involved in growing up. As much as I a yearn for such an answer I think that finding it would ruin me. Life isn’t about finding answers; it is about never ceasing to search for them. So I resolve to leave this question unanswered. For now, I trust the direction in which I’m heading and know that I am surrounded by people that love me and will continue to be with me every step of the way, even if they are two states away.

Austin Kilcullen